13 Things Mentally Tough People (Like Me) Avoid

From the Rush Limbaugh Show

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RUSH: Okay, now, mentally strong people, the 13 things they avoid. Now, here's how Forbes gets into them. "For all the time executives spend concerned about physical strength and health, when it comes down to it, mental strength can mean even more. Particularly for entrepreneurs, numerous articles talk about critical characteristics of mental strength -- tenacity, 'grit,' optimism, and an unfailing ability as Forbes contributor David Williams says, to 'fail up.'"

Do you know people that fail up? I do. My brother knows some. It really irritates him. Do you know people that fail up? The Democrat leadership's a classic example of people that fail up. That no matter what, everything ends up going well for them. No matter how bad they screw up, some people just have that knack.

"However, we can also define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals don’t do. Over the weekend, I was impressed by this list compiled by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, that she shared in LifeHack," which is obviously a website. "It impressed me enough I’d also like to share her list here along with my thoughts on how each of these items is particularly applicable to entrepreneurs."

Now, I'm not gonna read all that. I'm just gonna touch on the 13 things. And, again, they are compiled by Amy Morin, psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker. The 13 things mentally tough, strong people avoid. I don't know if they're in any order, but I'll share them with you in the order in which they are published.

Number one: They do not waste time feeling sorry for themselves. "You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair," and they don't get bogged down in the unfairness of life.

Let me tell you something. If these things are not in order, that is a great one to be at number one. I can't tell you. That one dovetails with not giving people the power to offend you. I think mentally tough people realize that they're not like most people, and to get all worried about being offended or, "Gosh, this isn't fair," it's beneath people that don't have time for something like that. The reality of life is that most people are not considerate. Most people are doing nothing but thinking about themselves all the time. So that's really, I think, a key element of toughness.

Number two: Mentally tough people do not give away their power. And that is part and parcel of not being offended all the time. "Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad." Put up some boundaries and don't let that stuff affect you, especially if it isn't true. You know, if I could wave a magic wand and change people, it would be don't worry about what people think of you, particularly people that don't know you. People that don't know you, it doesn't matter what they think. You and what you think of yourself is what matters, and if somebody thinks things about you that aren't true, forget it. Nothing you can do about it, and it's a total waste of time to try to change that.

Number three: Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

Number four: Mentally strong people do not waste energy on things they cannot control. "Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people." They don't experience road rage. You don't know what's going on in that car that may be driving erratically and running red lights.

Number five: Mentally tough people do not worry about pleasing others. There it is again. That's a variation of not worrying about what other people think of you. The thing is, you can't please other people. Well, it's everybody else's responsibility to be happy. Somebody's happiness is not your job. Somebody being content and happy is not your responsibility. And if you let somebody throw that off on you, you're gonna be miserable. If you're in a relationship, romantic relationship, marriage, anywhere at work or whatever, and if you let somebody make you responsible for their happiness, your goose is cooked.

A, you're dealing with somebody that can't be happy anyway. And number two, you can't do it. Happiness is an internal thing. Contentment is an internal thing, and it results from the pursuit of it. It doesn't just happen.

Number six: Mentally tough people do not fear taking calculated risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

Number seven: Mentally tough people do not dwell on the past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

Number eight: Mentally tough people do not make the same mistakes over and over again. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

Number nine: Mentally tough people do not resent other people's success. That's a toughie because human nature is such that -- I mean, somebody that fails up, you're gonna resent them. That's a tough one. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

Number 10: Mentally tough people do not give up after failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

Number 11: Mentally tough people do not fear time alone. "Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone."

Number 12: Mentally tough people do not think the world owes them anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

And number 13: Mentally tough people do not expect immediate results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?

I'm sure that Koko will find this story in Forbes. I've had it here since December the 10th. And it's written by Cheryl Snapp Conner, frequent speaker and author on reputation and thought leadership. She's got a newsletter you can subscribe to, but that's who the author of this piece is. So Koko will find it and put it up there. I heartily, as a really mentally tough guy, endorse this. (interruption) What is so funny? Are you disputing my assertion that I'm a mentally tough guy? Okay. Okay. I endorse all of these. There's no question.

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